Testing.... One, two.... Testing....

Does this thing still work?  Things have changed just a little since I was last here.  

This old thing....

It has been quite a while since I visited the blog and even longer since I posted - 2 years and 8 months to be exact.  I actually have written quite a few posts in my head, but have found it hard to get back here. I can't believe that I used to post almost daily!  I can't seem to find time for that anymore, but maybe one day I'll make it back to share our life and some of the things that bounce around in my head.  Until then, here's a picture.. just for old time's sake.

On Being Disagreeable

I'm sure that you've seen all the happy faces of my clan posted on this blog and on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter.  We look like an agreeable bunch, don't we? Always smiling and getting along. That's us! Here we are... looking so agreeable.

 As fun as that always agreeing might be, it is not our reality, nor yours I suppose. One of the most impressionable moments of my early relationship with Don was at Clemson House when we were freshmen. I have no idea what I said to him, but he looked at me and said simply, "I disagree." That's it. It stopped me in my tracks. I wasn't sure what to say. What do you mean you disagree? I don't think any kind of argument ensued. He just simply disagreed.

I have to confess that I'm still learning to disagree. It's so hard for me not to take it personally. Some other people don't have this problem, and I'm a little jealous. I don't like being wrong. I also don't like being self-righteous and preachy, so sometimes I have to step back and check myself. And lately... with disagreement everywhere, there's been a ton of opportunity for me to step back. I may disagree. It may make me angry. Sometimes it makes me anxious or shaky or tearful. I might want to march or donate or write letters to my Senator. And that's all good. I'm learning, slowly but surely, to feel how disagreement makes me feel, and then wait it out so I don't react poorly.

 My kids are teaching me a LOT about disagreement, because I watch them disagree. Every. Single. Day. As a spectator, it drives me mad. Mostly because they disagree about some crazy stuff, like how many times it’s ok to say "alligator" or which end of the binoculars to look into. This weekend they were bickering in the backseat and Mason reached over and hit Kate because he didn’t agree with her. As I turned to fuss at him, I had a eureka moment. And then I chose my words carefully. “You may not hit your sister when you disagree.  You may not say mean things to hurt her feelings. We don’t all have to agree about everything. If she asks you to stop (insert whatever it was here), you need to stop it. You would want her to do the same.”  And then I revoked his iPad privleges.

Can I stop right here to say that I love disagreeing with Mason.  Kate just melts into a puddle of tears, but not the Moo. He stomps off and gets mad. He cries wails. Sometimes he tells me he will never play with me again or we aren’t friends. But then, after a few minutes, he does something that gives me happiness (and hope). He comes to me (usually still crying hysterically) and says: “I don’t’ like it when you do X.  It makes me really mad.” And sometimes he goes on to explain WHY he disagrees or how it makes him feel. I love it. I mean, I really hate seeing him so upset, but you know what? Sometimes I stop and think. Maybe I was a bit unfair. Maybe he has a point. He feels the way he feels, regardless of how I think he should feel. He eventually moves past the initial emotion and uses his VOICE in a productive way – not simply to be hurtful.


And sometimes its best to just tune out the disagreement.

Life has provided ample opportunity lately to learn about disagreement.  When we went downtown this weekend, there was a largish group of people protesting the latest immigration executive order. The kids were really interested in all of the noise and the signs. It was a great time to explain what a protest was and how lucky we are to be able to use our voices that way when it’s done peacefully. It was a fantastic teaching experience, NOT a time for me to tell my kids how I thought they were right or wrong in their opinions (we are very careful to identify our adult opinions as such, not as fact). I don’t understand why people get so mad about peaceful protests. It’s a group of people using their voices, just like Mason. They are in fellowship over something they feel strongly about. And if we all slowed down to listen and find the commonality instead of being dismissive and getting self-righteous about how they’re wrong, maybe we could work some stuff out.


The bottom line is that we all want the same things. We all want to be safe. We all want things to be fair. We all want to be healthy. We all want the freedoms to live as we please. Our ideas of getting there are usually as different as we are. And it is important that people use their voices – whether you agree with them or not. I want my kids to use theirs. I want them to stand up for what they believe in. I don't want them to be afraid to respectfully disagree.  Recently we read a children's book about Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and before your lips snarl, my Republican friends, the book actually has a nice message about how she disagreed respectfully - about segregation, anti-Semitism, and inequality between men and women. I hope we can all agree that those are good things to oppose. We also learned a new word (dissent), and we saw how she and Justice Scalia can still be friends while disagreeing.

And so… as I repeat to my kids continually “It’s ok to disagree. It is never ok to hurt someone with your hands or your words because you disagree with them.” Then I remind them that the Bible does tell us to love one another and treat others as we want to be treated. Who knows, maybe one day they’ll take a page out of their Dad’s book and simply say, without all of the whining or crying or hitting or drama….. “I disagree.”

Glad to Have You Back

Last week I realized that my Chatterbox mug was missing. Not just any mug. The mug that I carry like it's precious Waterford Crystal. That I only carry with two hands, not one, because I know myself so well.  My mentor, Art Wozniak, gave it to me many years back, after a trip up north to his stomping grounds in Wisconsin.  You see, I grew up in the south, so pronouncing the name of any Wisconsin city other than Milwuakee was always a challenge. Like the time I called Waukesha (WAW-kə-shaw) Wa-kee-sha as if it were a hip-hop artist. Art never let me live it down. I can see him chuckling and shaking his head at my mispronunciations now. It makes me smile. And miss him. He had a unique take on so much of life. I would give just about anything to hear his take on Donald Trump right now.  My guess is that he would like the idea of The Donald being President.  But Art was so smart that it didn't seem possible that he could truly like the idea, and perhaps he was just saying those things to give his "bleeding heart liberal" children and microbiology director a headache.  You could almost always get him to say what he really thought... eventually. And even if you disagreed, it was impossible not to love him.

So my mug. It was hiding in a very obvious place. I didn't find it, a coworker did. I promised her a sushi lunch, with sake (because she also voted for Hillary).  It has a quote at the bottom that I haven't paid any attention to in forever: "Good coffee and old stories are two of life's glories." Ain't that the truth? Art told great stories, but he drank terrible coffee. I drink great coffee, but have kind of stopped telling our story. Sure, there are story snippets on Facebook, but that really doesn't do life justice.  There are stories to tell and I'm feeling convicted to share lately.  After all, the kids can fend for themselves nowadays, and surely I can find a few minutes every week to put an iPad in front of their face and tell a story or two.... so we'll see how this goes.  If you didn't know it, Don has a parallel blog to this one (http://lightpack.blogspot.com/) where you can read his latest post on our most recent family adventure. Here's hoping for more big (and small) adventures and their stories in 2017!! And who knows, maybe a blog name change.... 

Orlando!

Every June Don has a show to work in Orlando, and for the past 3 years, the kids and I have joined him for that and a little fun at Magic Kingdom.  Each year we discuss whether we want to make it an annual thing, mostly because we don't want to over-indulge our kids. Prior to his yearly visit, we could count on one hand how many times we had each visited Disney, and we would really like to make it a very special thing for our kids as well - not to mention that it is ridiculously expensive to go, even for a day.  But each year, we're so ready to get out of town for a few days, that we do it any way.  For the second year in a row, I drove down with the kids (alone). For the second year in a row, I swore I would never do it again. To quote Mason - "why didn't we fly in an airplane, Mommy." Good question, kid.  Never the less, it was fun.

Here we are dining at Waffle House on the way down.  Maybe Mason wasn't the happiest camper at this point.

We slept at a Hampton Inn in nowheresville GA. The kids were adamant that we had stayed there before. I tried to explain that all Hampton Inns looked alike. To no avail.

And finally we arrived at the Gaylord Palms (aka Paradise). 

I lost Mason at the pool within the first 3 minutes of being there. Some nice lady with a walkie-talkie returned him to me. He was so distraught that I couldn't even get onto him for not staying with me. Needless to say, he stuck close the rest of the trip.

The pool was amazing! There was even an onsite water park.  True to form, Mason went down all 4 water slides and Kate stuck to the short ones. 

We take a very laid back approach to Disney, unlike probably 98% of the people there. We only do one park on one day, and we didn't even walk into Frontier land or Adventure land this year. Yeah, maybe that's not getting your money's worth, but my sanity was in tact at the end of the day.

Of course M enjoyed the roller coaster, but he also had to ride this. Driving these cars is probably my least favorite thing to do at Disney. They're hot and slow, but he loved it. He also doesn't follow the "no bumping the car in front of you" rule. Wait... that's Don.

I think we may have found a replacement for the navy Crocs. He hasn't asked to wear them since we got home. Yay!!

On day 2 we went to Sea World!! They loved it. Espeically Kate, who says that given the choice, she'd rather go to Sea World than Disney.  What?! Yep. Maybe we're getting past the princess stage. I mean, she did wear her Cinderella dress, but took it off before we even entered Magic Kingdom.

Sea World was rainy - here we are before the deluge.

And then we headed home!

Besties

I think I've blogged once or twice before about Kate's bestie, Brynn.  They've been buds since 1 year old preschool at Lexington Methodist. Brynn was always the shy one and Kate was definitely not, but they both loved to talk and were fast friends.  We see Brynn and her brother Will (and the rest of the fam) about 2 or 3 times a year.  One of those times (if vacations don't interfere) is Vacation Bible School in Lexington.  Kate and Mason get spoiled by Nan and Pop for the week, and Kate gets to hang out with Brynn every morning at VBS. What a special time.  Here they are, wearing the "Best Friends" necklace that Kate got for Brynnie.  Sweet, sweet friends!

Because It's Been A While

I love to blog. I really do. I know that you wouldn't know it based on the fact that I haven't blogged in oh, 8 months.  I resolve to change that on a regular basis and it goes nowhere. I love to document our family time. Writing can be cathartic. But then there's this whole thing called life, that slows down for no one.  And I always seem to be trying to catch up or just keep my head above water. So, I'm not going to promise my once prolific 1 post a day, but maybe we'll start with one a week. And I'm somewhat of a perfectionist in some respects, but I will NOT avoid posting just because I can't post about everything. So... here's the first in a series of life snipits.

Kate finished kindergarten. She's awesome, y'all.  And if you know me, you know I don't use "y'all" very often. It just seemed apropos.  I can't explain it, and most of you will never know, but this kid is different. She's sensitive and cries easily sometimes, like all 6 year olds. But she SIX. If you spend any time around Kate, you forget that. We also don't have anything to compare her to (other than Mason), so I'm not really sure what average 6 year olds are like. She finished Kindergarten. She loved every single moment of it. I hope that she always loves to learn as much as she does now. I hear she could "read and write the room" like no other.

Here she is. Last day of K5.

 And then there's the Moo. He turned 4 on May 14th.  He's still the most tenderhearted boy around. You want my last Skittle? Ok! (With a smile on his face). He also laughs in the face of trouble. This makes discipline a little tough until you figure out what motivates him. He loves TV (Rescue Bots), trucks (fire trucks are his favorite), construction sites, candy, being outside, nature walks, and he's been picking up a lot of bugs lately. He smiles and giggles a lot. Sometimes he's hard to read because he laughs when he's happy or when he's in trouble or when he's scared. I guess there are worse things. Please don't ever ask him to wear shoes other than navy blue Crocs. He's wearing other ones in this photo... but only because I "couldn't find" the navy ones.

And most of the time, they get along famously.

Summer Summer Summertime - Part 2

I got a little side tracked after that last post, but I couldn't just leave you hanging - you've only seen 1/3 of our summer!

Kate and I continued our lunches on Friday. I miss those. She always got a Starbucks cake pop after Chick fil A nuggets - we are lucky that both of those restaurants are located in the atrium of the hospital, and she was located right across campus.

The kids did a pretty good job of getting along this summer. They actually played together a good bit.

Oh, but there was plenty of this.

We celebrated the fourth at Nan and Pop's Greenville house. We sure do like that they can visit us any time!

There were bubbles. Who doesn't love bubbles?

Mason got a pair of goggles. He's really taken to sticking his head under the water. And I'm happy that there have been no ear issues after all of that submersion.

We moved the sand box onto the back porch. It was convenient during grilling season, but now I'm ready for it to go somewhere else.

Sledding - it isn't just for winter anymore.

Don worked on the Triumph.

And the boys worked on Mason's new bike.

The kids still went to Preschool every day - Mason moved up to the Preschool class (from the Two's). They do lots of really neat pre-kindergarten activities in there, so he was certainly ready.

Kate went to Zoo Camp at Riverbanks in Columbia.  I love that she embraces new experiences so easily (most of the time). She walked right on into that class full of kids she didn't know, and made some friends.  Mason gets to go next year.

Then it was back to school for a week before the big beach vacation. Here they are in the phone booth, dressing up like superheros.

Summer, Summer, Summertime

Catching up on an entire 4 months is hard to do, so instead, I bring you a review of our summer. Where did it go? The highs only get into the 70s now, and we can even justify long sleeves or long pants most days - Although not at the same time yet.  This post will be broken into a few days - otherwise it would be epic and you would get tired and never see all of the awesome fun we had.

June:

We continued Friday donut day. It's a hit. The kids never forget. Mason's favorite? Boston Creme. Kate's? It varies - Boston Creme, chocolate cake, pink with sprinkles. Mason? Always Boston Creme... except when they have Peep donuts in April.

A reminder for Daddy on Father's Day that he is the coolest Dad in the Milky Way.

Football.  In our PJs.

What great American summer could go without some sprinkler time?

Or flower picking?

We took a road trip when Don went to Orlando for his annual tool show.  Last year we flew. That's not cheap, as I'm sure many of you who fly with kids can attest. BUT! Let me say that 10 hours into our 8 hour drive, I would have paid that amount just to cut off the last 30 minutes.  We made it.

Here we are at the beginning of said road trip - when we were still in good spirits and sitting in traffic on I-95 (still in SC).

We finally made it. Looking like tourists. Wearing our smiles because we were on VACATION!

The trip was hard. The kids slept in the first day.

The Marriott resort was amazing. We needed the pool time. On the first day I told Kate: "We're going to Disney on Monday."  Her response? "This isn't Disney?!?!" Me: "Um, well, yeah... this is Disney too... just another part of Disney."

The kiddie pool.  She those toes? Yep! Mine. I am sitting while the kids splash and slide. Heaven.

And then there was Disney. Our kids are currently unaware that any part of Disney exists other than Magic Kingdom. We plan to keep it that way for as long as possible. And actually, we only did 1 day of Disney. Neither the kids nor the grown ups can handle much more than 1 day yet. We spent more time at the resort pool.  This year the trip was a lot of fun because Mason was old enough to really know what was going on. His favorite, far and away, was the roller coaster. He's going to be a roller coaster junkie. 

Family Teacups selfie.

Dancing with Jesse.

We had supper with Minnie Mouse!! We also had breakfast with the princesses, but apparently those weren't on my computer.... will have to find them.  Mason loved the breakfast, but was very shy around the princesses.

She swore that she wasn't going to be scared of the Little Mermaid ride this year. Wrong. She didn't want to get on. We made her. She loved it. Obviously not really loving it in this photo.

And they made it to the very end - Fireworks!! But not much longer.

And then it was back to reality. Here are the kids at school Wednesday morning, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, like they normally do. 

So it was back to life and back to swimming in our own neighborhood pool. Here is Kate, with a plethora of flotation devices... but she would shed those in short order. Stay tuned for that!